Team Chuck vs Office Life
by TwotoTenth
Summary: A series of one shots looking at Team Chuck's integration into life in Scranton. Companion to Chuck vs. Dunder Mifflin.
1. Casey vs the Deputy Security Officer

A/N: Since Chapter 6 of Dunder Mifflin is undergoing a semi-major overhaul, I figured I should get started on the side story I promised several reviewers a while back. It'll be a series of one-shots featuring Team Chuck and occurring within the confines of Dunder Mifflin Scranton. Here's the first (and most-requested) installment, in which Dwight meets Casey. Much like the main story from which these ideas grow, it has been upgraded by the tireless efforts of KathGrangerPotter.

The poll for my next stories is still open - keep the votes coming! Also, if there are any scenarios you'd like to see in this series, let me know in a review or PM and I'll see what I can do.

And now, a haiku:

I do not own Chuck

Nor do I own the Office

Curse you, NBC!

* * *

Chapter 1: Casey vs. the Deputy Security Officer

Dwight stepped through the doors of the most prominent building in the Scranton Business Park at precisely 8:00 AM, as was his custom. He'd taken his usual route to work, parked in the same space he used every day, and eaten the standard bagel with homemade beet-flavored cream cheese for breakfast. The next step in the routine was the stop at the security desk to ask Hank if he had new orders for his deputy. The fact that he hadn't received any in his three years on the job was no excuse for not remaining vigilant.

Dwight pulled up short before reaching the desk as he realized that the man sitting behind it was definitely not Hank. Recovering quickly from the initial surprise, he cautiously approached the interloper.

"Where's Hank?" he demanded.

The other man stared him down calmly for a long moment before replying. "He retired."

Dwight shook his head insistently. "He never would have done that without telling me first."

"Oh?" The look on the face of Hank's apparent successor was somewhere between tolerance and amusement.

"As deputy security officer for the building, I am intimately connected with Hank's work in the building. Frankly, I would have expected to be involved in the hiring process for his replacement. How can I be sure you're competent to serve as the first line of defense for this building?" Dwight challenged.

A cold-eyed stare accompanied the response. "I have this," the man said, shoving a badge reading Security under Dwight's nose. "Which means that the people who own this building think I'm qualified. And their opinions, not yours, are the ones that matter."

Dwight stalked off angrily, eyes flashing with the determination to prove his value to the safety of the building. As he rode the elevator up to the second floor, his active mind began piecing together a plan of attack.

He was going to need some help.

* * *

"You want me to _what_?" Andy demanded.

"Assist me in determining whether the new building security supervisor is capable of handling the job adequately," Dwight repeated.

"Have you _seen_ the guy? He looks like he went to the Cornell of military schools."

Dwight sneered slightly. "Looks can be deceiving. You certainly don't look like you went to the Cornell of normal schools, and yet you did," he pointed out.

"That's true – I definitely did attend there," Andy conceded. "But looks aren't always deceiving. Jim looks like a handsome, talented slacker, and that's pretty much exactly what he is."

Dwight hesitated, nearly convinced, before realizing that Andy was attempting to use his disdain for Jim against him. Scowling slightly, he decided to demonstrate that two could play at the game of manipulation. "Let me ask you something, Andy. How would you like to be a hero?"

"I don't see how harassing the new security guard makes someone a hero," Andy protested.

"Oh? So you're saying that if there was a terrorist attack on this building, and the new, competent security supervisor was able to prevent it, the two people responsible for the firing of the previous one who didn't know what he was doing wouldn't be heroes?"

"I hadn't thought of it like that," Andy admitted.

"This is your chance, Andy. Your chance to be more than just a paper salesman," Dwight cajoled.

"All right!" he exclaimed excitedly. "I'm in."

* * *

Dwight approached the security desk slowly, giving himself time to assess the situation. The man behind it was eating his lunch, seemingly oblivious to the world around him. "Excuse me," Dwight interrupted.

"Yeah, what is it?" the other man questioned gruffly.

"I was wondering if you'd be interested in a tour of the Dunder Mifflin offices. Perhaps you could meet some of the people whose lives rest on the adequate performance of your duties," Dwight offered.

The security officer scowled. "Pass."

"I'm sure they'd all like the opportunity to meet their courageous protector," Dwight wheedled. "There may even be some appreciative females in the office," he added conspiratorially.

The target snorted derisively. "Fine, if it'll get you to leave me alone."

Dwight grinned, knowing that the man's bluster was merely an attempt to cover the fact that he'd been lured into a classic honey trap. "If you'll just come this way," he pointed toward the elevator. As the new employee passed him, Dwight grabbed one of his shoulders to spin him around and threw a carefully aimed punch at the man's face.

Most accurately-directed punches have one of two results. They connect, resulting in the gaining of an advantage in the struggle, or they are deflected or dodged. This one had neither. Dwight's eyes widened in surprise as he watched his target's head dip slightly and thrust forward, meeting his oncoming hand earlier than expected. A crippling bolt of pain shot down his arm, and his wrists were both pinned behind his back before he had a chance to realize that the man had _headbutted his fist_.

"Moron," the subject muttered. "Did I pass your stupid little test?"

"Yes," Dwight gasped desperately. "Can you let me go now?"

"Not until your friend stops whatever he thinks he's accomplishing by crawling behind my desk while you bothered me," came the belligerent reply.

Undeterred by the easy discovery of his backup test, Dwight's tone quickly shifted from pleading to instructional. "A terrorist wouldn't stop what he was doing just because you captured one of his allies," he pointed out.

"Well, a terrorist wouldn't find anything interesting in my desk anyway… unless he looked in the third drawer on the left."

Dwight scoffed. "Please. That's such an obvious trap, only an idiot would…"

"Ahh! My eyes!" Andy screamed.

"Well played," Dwight conceded.

"Now, if you two fine citizens will leave me alone, I have to recharge that mace canister."

Dwight nodded. "Of course. Let me first just say that it'll be an honor working with you to make this building safer."

The only response was a grunt, which Dwight interpreted as agreement. As he led the still-complaining Andy toward the elevator, he glanced over his shoulder and added a final offer to his new ally. "You're obviously capable in hand-to-hand combat, but if you'd like to learn a few techniques using the various forms of weaponry common in martial arts, I would be happy to assist. My dojo is available to you any time."

* * *

"My assessment of the building matches that of its CIA purchasers," Casey reported later that evening. "The single entrance makes it relatively simple to secure, and the wide glass windows in the entryway provide excellent lines of sight to the surrounding area. It will be a far better location for the asset than the undefendable, constantly crowded Buy More."

General Beckman nodded. "What is your first impression of the building's occupants?"

"My interaction with most of them was limited. However, one of the salesmen at the paper company has apparently been appointed as a deputy security officer, and felt the need to test my qualifications."

Casey was almost sure that he saw a grin flicker briefly across the General's face. "Did you pass?" she asked in an impressive deadpan.

"I believe so, ma'am. However, this individual may pose problems for us in the future," he warned. "He seems quite paranoid, and could become suspicious if he notices any of our security measures around the building."

"In that case, the best course of action would be for you to co-opt him," Beckman instructed. "Enlist his help in watching for unusual activities, and deflect his attention away from anything he notices about your team."

Casey grimaced. He knew it was the right call, but that didn't make the order any more pleasant to carry out. "Yes, General." Her face disappeared from his television, and his eyes drifted to the ceiling in a silent plea for patience.

"I hate this assignment."


	2. Sarah vs the Welcome

A/N: I realize Chuck vs. Dunder Mifflin is complete now, but I still have a few ideas for these little stories, and since it'll be a little while before I'm ready to start publishing a new serial, it's probably a good time to get a couple of them out there. If you've got any other ideas, just let me know and I'll see what I can do with them.

I don't own either Chuck or the Office. You're all shocked. Same old routine.

* * *

Chapter 2: Sarah vs. the Welcome

"It sounds as though Mr. Bartowski and Agent Walker's covers have been well-established. Excellent work, team." As usual, Beckman's face disappeared from the computer screen before either Chuck or Casey could respond. Under normal circumstances, it would also have vanished before Sarah could say anything, but the team had decided that because Sarah's cover job placed her in a populated office, she needed to do her best to seem dedicated during her first day, and stealing away for a briefing wouldn't be the best way to accomplish that goal.

"All right, big guy, you can head back to your desk and resume your vigilant watch over the Scranton Business Park," Chuck jibed.

Casey glowered at him. "And you can get back to doing even less work than you did at that worthless electronics store you once called a career."

Chuck's rejoinder was cut off by a sudden insistent beeping from both men's watches. He frowned worriedly. "Sarah triggered an alert? Surely we haven't been found out on our first day."

Casey jostled him away from the computer. "Let me pull up the surveillance." He looked quickly through the various rooms of the Dunder Mifflin offices. They were all empty. "That doesn't make any damn sense," he muttered.

"I didn't see the conference room in there," Chuck observed. "Did you not wire that one?"

"What's the point? I doubt Walker's going to be involved in any high-level meetings, and I can't really imagine anything interesting happening in the conference room of a paper wholesaler."

"Yeah, well, I'm guessing that's the room we need to check out right now. I'll be back in a minute," Chuck promised.

"Hang on there, nerd boy," Casey protested. "I'll be doing the recon work, thank you very much."

"Normally I'd be only too happy to agree with you. But we both know that if Sarah's in trouble, I'm a better bet to get her out of it than you are," Chuck argued.

Casey gave the other man his most menacing stare, and Chuck returned the gaze calmly. "Fine," the NSA agent finally conceded. "But if there's any action and you don't call me in…"

"You'll gouge out my eyes and make me watch myself eat them. I know."

"Just so we're clear," Casey nodded.

Chuck strode quickly from his office and headed toward the space rented by the paper wholesaler. Peering through the door, he saw that the main work area was empty. He entered quickly and soon discovered that the employees had been herded into the conference room. As his eyes found Sarah, they widened in shock.

She stood frozen at the front of the room next to a wildly gesticulating man. Her eyes scanned the surroundings, desperately seeking a means of escape and finding none. Her face reflected a degree of terror Chuck had never seen her approach before.

He smiled.

Pinning himself to the wall, he crept closer. As he moved, the excited man's words began to drift toward his ears.

"Now, I think we all know what happened to the last receptionist," Michael emphasized.

"She quit after you pretended to fire her?" Jim prodded.

"No!" Michael exclaimed forcefully. "We do not acknowledge people who quit. They are not part of our family."

"So you're talking about me?" Pam inquired.

"Yes!" Michael declared happily. "Our last _real_ receptionist found love here at work. And as we all know, history repeats itself."

"Question," Dwight interrupted. "If you expect her to fall for someone at work, why wouldn't you attempt to court her yourself? She is obviously very desirable."

"Because I am her boss, and that would be inappropriate," Michael said with a hint of agitation.

Kevin leaned toward Oscar and murmured "She already shot him down," loudly enough to be heard by everyone in the room.

"No, Kevin," Michael spat irritably. "We simply agreed that it would be unprofessional to begin a relationship, despite whatever feelings we have for each other."

"That didn't seem to concern you too much when you dated Jan," Stanley mumbled.

"Yeah, well, that didn't work out very well for anyone, now did it?" Michael replied bitterly. "Anyway, I don't see why you're all complaining so much – this means that the rest of you have a chance. So… gentlemen, start your engines."

Stealing a glance through the doorway, Chuck nearly laughed at the uniformly predatory looks on the faces of Sarah's new male coworkers. However, his mirthful mood ended when he saw the look of horrified resignation on Sarah's face. She looked like a death row inmate who was waiting for the firing squad to just pull the damn trigger already.

Taking pity on her, Chuck knocked on the door. "Excuse me," he interrupted, "but I got a call for support, and I don't remember where it came from." He smiled sheepishly, working hard to sell the confused new employee façade. "Did anyone here need IT?"

Sarah smiled gratefully as the confusion caused by his presence allowed her a momentary respite from the unwanted attention of Dwight… and Andy… and Kevin… and Toby… and Creed. However, her grin quickly became devious, and Chuck realized his rescue effort was not going to be repaid in kind.

"Michael?" Sarah asked. "Why don't we invite Chuck to join us? He's new, so it seems like someone should throw him a party too."

Chuck stared her down disapprovingly. "I really should go – I need to figure out who placed that call for help."

"And miss out on all this fun?" Michael demanded incredulously. "Why would you want to work on computers instead of hanging out with the coolest people in the building? What are you, some kind of computer man?"

Chuck and Sarah traded bemused glances as Michael launched into what was apparently an impersonation of Computer Man, an overtly boring superhero whose movements bore a striking resemblance to drunken robot dancing. Realizing that he was unlikely to escape the party, Chuck took the opportunity to take in his surroundings more fully.

The room was pink… very pink. The windows were covered in enormous sheets of pink paper, and the ceiling was barely visible thanks to all the pink balloons and pink streamers that had been hung. The person responsible for the décor was easily recognizable thanks to her bright pink shirt and hot pink shoes, and Chuck decided to say hello.

"Hi!" she exclaimed in return. "I'm Kelly. You're the new computer person, right? Can you help me figure out how to change the settings on my iPod?"

"Uhh… I'm really only supposed to handle work-related problems," Chuck hedged. "So I was wondering, do you know who decorated in here?"

"Me!" she announced happily. "Can you guess what the theme is?"

Chuck did his best to hide his grin. "I'm having a hard time putting my finger on it."

"Well, you know how people decorate the nursery in pink for a new baby girl? And Michael is always saying that we're a family here. So since we have a new person in the family, and she's a girl, I thought pink would be a good choice." She looked up expectantly, hoping for confirmation that she'd made the right decision.

"Good idea," Chuck said with an encouraging nod. "Sarah strikes me as the kind of person who'd really like pink. If you guys are getting presents, I bet she'd love a fluffy pink sweater, or something like that."

"I know something that would be _perfect!_" Kelly proclaimed. "I think I'll run out and get them for her right now!"

Chuck stole a look at Sarah, who was attempting to fight off Kevin and Andy simultaneously without seriously injuring either one of them. Despite the fact that she'd trapped him into this party, he decided he couldn't leave her to completely fend for herself. Grabbing a brownie and a cup of punch, he extracted her from the middle of a growing crowd of admirers and offered her the refreshments.

"Thanks," she murmured gratefully.

"What was I going to do, just give in to the fact that I'll inevitably lose you to the irresistible force of office romance?" he teased.

"What makes you think you're not a candidate yourself? Our offices are pretty close together," Sarah observed.

"Yeah, but I'm not part of the Dunder Mifflin family."

She smiled slightly. "Come on, with all the people who I'm sure will need computer help around here, you've got to qualify as at least the red-headed stepchild."

"I'm not quite sure whether that's sweet or offensive," Chuck mused.

Sarah's reply was cut off as Jim and Pam approached. "Looks like you two are getting along," Pam noted.

"Yeah, we're competing to see who's had the craziest first day," Chuck intimated.

"Who's winning?" Jim queried.

"Well, let's see… which one of us was just offered as a prize to a very lonely group of coworkers?" Sarah asked in return.

"True," Jim conceded. "But Chuck here has had to meet with all of the heads of the five families."

"Exciting as that was, at least they all kept their hands to themselves," Chuck said with a laugh.

"Fair enough. But you're lucky Bob Vance is a married man. He would have been all over you," Pam chuckled.

Sarah grimaced. "His day still would have been better. In the last fifteen minutes, I've been asked how I feel about beets, Cornell, divorced men with children, and something in what I think was Chinese."

"And how do you feel about those things?" Chuck asked teasingly.

"They are my second-least-favorite edible plant, an enormously overrated school, a higher level of commitment than I'm looking for, and…" Her face contorted almost unnoticeably. "And I'm not sure what the last thing was, but it can't have been good."

Jim and Pam exchanged grins. Chuck raised a curious eyebrow, and was answered with a silently mouthed _Tell you later_ and a shudder.

"Don't worry, things will calm down around here soon," Jim promised.

"Yeah, they're not really that bad once you get to know them," Pam agreed. "As long as you don't get to know them too well."

"So what would you recommend as the proper amount…"

Sarah's question was cut off as Kelly burst into the room and bustled over to interject herself into the conversation. "Time for first day presents!" she exclaimed happily.

"Oh, that's really not necessary…"

"I think you'll change your mind once you see what they are," the customer service rep beamed.

Sarah reluctantly accepted the shopping bag and pulled out a pair of fluffy pink rabbit slippers. "Wow… they're really… cute," she managed, fighting back a distasteful expression.

"Right? Chuck thought you seemed like a pink person, and I figured these would be just right!"

"These were Chuck's idea, were they?" Sarah asked, her voice dangerously soft.

"Not entirely," Kelly huffed. "He just suggested the color."

"Hmm," Sarah nodded thoughtfully. Her eyes took on a predatory gleam as she advanced on the helpless IT supervisor and leaned up to whisper in his ear. "I know where you sleep."

"Hey now," Chuck answered softly. "You trapped me in here. I owed you."

"Please," Sarah scoffed. "I was doing you a favor, letting you pull me away from Creed's Mandarin… proposition."

"I'm sure it was very tempting," Chuck replied doubtfully.

"Not especially," Sarah admitted. "It was actually one of the more disturbing things I've ever heard."

Chuck grinned. "You know, we're standing awfully close together for people who supposedly just met."

"Are we now?"

"Definitely," he confirmed. "If we keep this up, Jim and Pam might get ideas about what will happen after our date tonight."

"Really," Sarah pondered. "What kind of ideas?"

"Uhh… the sex kind," Chuck stammered.

"Hmm," Sarah said contemplatively. "I'm not sure how accurate that will be after the stunt you pulled with the slippers."

"Interesting. Do you think I might be able to redeem myself for that?"

"You'll have to work at it," Sarah said coyly.

In answer, Chuck spoke into his watch. "Casey? We need your help in here right away."


End file.
